It was an eventful week, nothing inherently bad as such, just a lot happening. As my boss put it 'If we had a TV programme where all the characters had an episode each, this week would definitely me your episode.' A great analogy, I thought. I was, and still kind of am, finding life all a little hard to process at the moment, I'm feeling a bit lost and getting my head in a good place is a challenge. On top of that, I'm struggling with disassociation which, if you've ever experience that, you'll know is scary and tiring. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine, I'm not feeling sorry for myself, I just know wanted to share.
Anyway, the silver lining is that this leads nicely into a topic I've been thinking about for a while. I make no secret of the fact that my blog is my hobby. It is, nor do I want it to be, my job. When I started blogging 4 years ago, I was a bored student which set up a blog to post awkwardly posed and dimly lit photos of what I was wearing. It was a bit of fun. And it still is, because although I thought initially that being 'a blogger' would be good for my CV (which it is) I never wanted to be that above all else.
I seem to be in the minority though, as most bloggers I follow and chat to dream of the day they can resign from their day jobs, scurry off into the sunset with their laptop and DSLR and start work on building their blogging empire. To me, that's so great. 10 years ago, blogging was virtually unheard of and now people are making small fortunes doing it. That's the incredible power of the Internet and the changing media. The fact that that's an achievable dream for many is incredible. Thing is, it's not my dream.
I love blogging and I love social media and I know I am skilled at both, so while the prospect of doing either (or both) for a brand or company is something I definitely aspire to do one day, I know for certain that I couldn't be an independent blogger as my job. Even if I wanted to, there's no way I could blog full time anyway. It's simply not an option at the moment, but my point is that I wouldn't want to anyway - I'd get lonely, bored and restless and worry about financial security. No matter how good your stats are, blogging doesn't come with a pension plan.
At the moment, I post twice a week, but I'm on Twitter and Instagram every day, so I guess you could say blogging is a part of my daily routine. Even on days where I don't actually publish a post, I'm photographing, writing, commented, editing, reading, sharing, liking, retweeting and hash-tagging. Don't get me wrong, I love it, I love blogging and I love being part of this amazing online community, sharing ideas and hopefully using this platform that us bloggers have to inspire and inform. I'm so happy that I've found a hobby that I enjoy and that I'm good at, but like anything in life, sometimes you need a break and that's absolutely fine. Although it was never my intention, I am, for all intents and purposes, 'a blogger', but I'm also a friend, a daughter, a sister and a colleague too and those titles are priority at the moment.
It's hard though because when life is hectic and scary, I know that having a productive and creative hobby like blogging can really help. Writing focuses my mind which is great where I'm feeling weighed down and the online community is always supportive in times of need. Its for those reasons that I always feel so guilty that when life is getting me down, I shy away from something that makes me as happy as blogging does and retreat into my familiar but probably unhealthy hermit crab mentality.
I'm not sure my purpose in writing this, I just want to writing something on this topic I think. I'm sorry for rambling, it wasn't intended to be depressing and I hope it's not been ridiculously difficult to follow my train of thought. Regularly scheduled blogging will commence later this week!