Monday, 21 December 2015

Blogging at Christmas, Money & Mental Health

Christmas. They say it's the most wonderful time of the year. Maybe if you're the head of a retailer, rolling in money as the common folk scramble to prove their love for the families and friends via material possessions. Christmas in blogging means excessive materialism too. I mean, even more than the rest of the year. Those expensive makeup sets for gift guides, that limited edition eyeshadow palette, the latest sparkly party shoes for an OOTD, another bottle of Lush's Snow Fairy, those Instagram-perfect red Starbucks cup, a new Christmas tree theme every year made up of John Lewis baubles that cost £6 each, it all adds up.

Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas as much as the next person, but the pressure to spend money at Christmas, especially if you're a blogger, is all too real. On one hand, I'm university educated, have a full time job, have no debt and no dependants and I don't drive or smoke. I should be able to afford the Christmas I want. On the other hand though, I struggle to be able to afford everything I need to do Christmas how I'd like. Almost all of my gifts have been bought using some kind of discount or promotion, I hand delivery cards to save on the cost of stamps, I recycle gift bags, my wrapping paper is from Poundland and although I donate to Glasgow Womens' Aid every Christmas, it's not as much as I wish I could give. I'm by no means poor or financially hard done, but Christmas is a time for spending money and I, like many people, struggle. 

Blogging as a whole, especially beauty and fashion blogging, are full of falsehoods in regards to money. Whether that's someone saying in an OOTD post that a dress is from Topshop when it's actually from Tesco or pretending that a PR company sent you that Urban Decay palette when you actually just bought it yourself. It's kind of universally known but never discussed. 

In December though, it really goes into overdrive. I've never claimed to be super careful with my money, but I can honestly say I've never purchased something solely for my blog or made out as though I thought something was reasonably priced when it was actually expensive - ie. 'This skin serum is super affordable, it's only £55 a bottle!' I do love Christmas in blogging, it makes me happy to see people that I care about enjoying the festive season but sadly there are certain elements that I know for a fact are exaggerated to create the allure of the prefect Christmas. 

Working in retail, I see Christmas for what it really is, while I know people in other professions don't always. For instance, Black Friday. If you don't work in retail, you probably think of it as a shallow excuse to shop, for exploitative retailers to take advantages of shoppers and for people to make purchases they'd never intended to make just because it's a bargain. 

I love a good moan about work as much as everyone does, whether they work retail or not, but I will never, ever complain about my shop (or any other shop) being busy. Ever. I love being busy, I love people buying and enjoying shopping. What I don't like is rude, aggressive or impatient shoppers. I'm not going to pretend I like Black Friday because I don't, but I love the buzz of people getting a bargain and I do appreciate that in such a consumer obsessed world, it provides financially strapped people with an opportunity to give more at Christmas than they would otherwise be able to afford. Making fun of people who shop on Black Friday is a form is classism and I've seen a lot of bloggers doing just that.

Another thing I've noticed, what I like to think of a organisation shaming. Or rather lack of organisation shaming. If you've finished your Christmas shopping in mid November, good for you. If you're Christmas tree is up in the first week of December, that's fanatic. If everything is wrapped and under that tree three weeks before Santa comes, amazing. However, can we stop making a huge deal out of people who haven't? I can't afford to start my Christmas shopping in August and I simply don't have time to spend weeks watching Christmas films while sipping on hot chocolate. My Christmas is more of a stressed few weeks of running around like a headless chicken, and that's just as valid as your super organised festive season that starts as soon as Hallowe'en ends.

A final important thing worth mentioning I feel, which I'm very happy is mostly openly discussed in blogging, is mental health. I follow loads of bloggers who suffer from mental health issues but sadly I've only seen a few who are open and honest about how much harder the festive period can be. If you struggle with depression, anxiety or any other mental health condition, chances are, it's worst at this time of year. Everything is heightened, everyone is stressed and rushed, it's busy and loud and overwhelming, it's full of emotion and alcohol and spending time with people you don't often see. It can be lonely, it can be scary, it can be a lot to handle. 

But I don't see that in blogging. I see bloggers being super happy. I see people giggling and laughing with their friends and family. I see cheesy board games and snuggled up on the sofa in tacky festive jumpers watching Love Actually. And to an extent, I get it. We all show the best and most interesting elements of our lives on our blogs, but at a time of year that I know I'm the not the only one who really struggles, it's alienating. 

Last year I took on the ambitious challenge of Blogmas (and admittedly, kind of failed) and looking back, I was that blogger, my posts were cheesy and a very polished version of my Christmas reality. This year, I've posted twice in as many months, but that's a more accurate reflection of how this time really is to me - stressful, anxious, worrying, non-stop. Ultimately though, it will all comes together in the end, it always does and we'll get through this festive season like we do every year. And hey, I have a whole 42 hours of festive fun between finishing work on Christmas Eve and starting work on Boxing Day which is the most I've had in 8 years...!

If you're struggling at this time of year, or any time of year for that matter, here's some useful resources to keep handy should you need them...

0800 1111

116 123

0800 838587

0300 123 3393

0800 917 7650

0800 585858

0808 802 9999

0300 123 2523

08000 502020

0333 323 3880

The website Support Line also provides a huge directory of other helplines and websites for a whole range of issues and conditions


  1. Really appreciate the honesty of this post, Sophie. I completely understand where you're coming from, girlie. I do believe every blogger is responsible for how 'real' they are and what they are comfortable sharing. Thankfully, most peeps (read: bloggers) I know, who are excited for Christmas, and are cuddled up under the blanket with a Christmas movie in the background and hot chocolate in their hand, are really doing that! :) Maybe it comes down to the fact that they have time on their hands or to fab planning and time management skills. As for me, no matter how crazy things get this time of the year, I always make sure to spend quality time with my husband, friends & family. With a hot chocolate in my hand or not, Instagram'ed or not, I make sure my cozy & happy time any time of the year is there (despite the insane working hours & other commitments).
    As for the whole shopping madness, it's nice to get bargains like you said. But it's important to remember the value of each item purchased. I grew up in a family where we couldn't afford much at all. I only was getting one present at Christmas - a bar of chocolate or some other candy. But you know what the funny thing is - I felt like I had everything I ever needed in the world right there - my amazing family who showered me with care and love.
    You don't need much if your values are strong and morals are right.
    Even though now I can afford an UD palette, I still don't own one. I simply don't need it (I know, what a scandal lol) :)
    Anyway, I do hope you will enjoy your Christmas & the holiday season, Sophie. Thanks for this article & sorry for writing an essay of a comment :)
    I don't normally do that, I promise ;)
    xox Nadia

  2. I actually wrote a post about how down in the dumps I was last year during the Christmas period, and I'm tempted to write a follow-up because this year is significantly better despite not being perfect at all.

  3. Loved this post- I read it last night and thought about it all this morning. Bloggers doing 'gift hauls' kind of make me uncomfortable too, on top of all the money some people seem to spend on preparation for the show of it.
    I also suffer from mental health issues and the stress of going to social events isn't spoken about enough (so maybe I'll mention it in my next post!)
    Thanks Sophie. Merry Christmas.

  4. I can't believe people fake where their outfits are from! I never knew that was a thing.