Monday, 23 May 2016

Pastures New

Hey. Hi. Hello there. It's been a while, eh? My last blog post was 82 days ago to be exact. I've had my blog since 2011 so naturally have gone through stages before of not posting for whatever reason, some times blog related, sometimes not, but this has been the longest. And let me tell you, as happy as I am to get back into it, I needed that time to reevaluate a lot of things, again some blog related and some not.



Delicious vegan quesadillas at Stereo, Glasgow

A couple of weeks ago, I met up with Lis from Last Years Girl and Laila from Tape Parade. I've written in the past about blogging events and feeling nervous around new people, so was anxious but excited. We went for dinner while Laila was up visiting Glasgow and over a fabulous vegan meal, chatting and laughing away for hours like old chums. Lis and Laila's blogs, amongst a handful of others, are ones I really enjoy for their confidence, variety and originality, qualities I've always strived to deliver on my blog too but often struggle with. I left that night feeling two very juxtaposing feelings. Inspiration and guilt. 'I want to be the type of blogger who portraying a version of myself that makes people feel inspired in the way I feel inspired right now' I thought to myself as I walked home from the subway on that warm Spring night. 'So why am I not?' came next. The guilt. I know I have the skills and ideas to do it. So why am I not doing it? Guilt is a feeling I'm faced with a lot.

My most recent post (oh the irony of the word 'recent') was about blogger identity and I had lost mine almost entirely. I wasn't proud of the content I was creating and my 'brand' was all over the place. My Twitter identity was a prominently societal and pop culture commentary with the odd bit of blogging thrown in, while my Instagram was unintentionally themed to suggest I am the picture perfect beauty blogger, a filtered version of the most vain elements of my life. Truth be told, I'm neither. Well, more specifically, I'm both. And I'm so much more too. I want my blog to portray a more rounded and varied picture of who I am and what I'm passionate about.

When I started by blog, I loved the name. It's something I'm so often complimented on at blog events and when new people follow me on social media. They love it. Me? Not so much any more. I can't put my finger on why exactly, but I outgrew Filthy Paws & Silky Drawers a long time ago. I'm not that girl I was in 2011 any more. I've thought about changing my name for a while now, but struggled to think of something else. What if I regret it? What if I should've just stuck with it? What if my stats and followers dramatically fall cause people don't realise I'm the same person? 

At the stage I was at at the start of this year, I was so unhappy with my blog and what I was doing that I knew anything would be better. This year has been hard, I'm not in a particularly good place in my life and I'm not going where I want to be going at the pace I'd like to, but my blog is all mine, to do exactly what I want and I really want to turn it around. I know I can and I know I will.

I've cleaned up my filthy paws and hung up my silky drawers. That chapter is over and it's time for something new. Once Upon A Sophie...



2 comments:

  1. Good for you!
    May I just say that while you may not feel it, you can be inspiring. You inspired me to stop putting up with abuse, and bullshit on the Internet. The way you stand up for not just yourself but others too is so inspiring so please don't forget that.
    Can't wait to see where you take Once Upon a Sophie...I'll be there as long as you are :-).

    AJ x

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  2. I can really relate to some of these feelings! I'm so sorry you had a tough time with blogging, I really love your new name, Once Upon A Sophie, it exudes fairytale vibes! :D I think what helped for me was adopting an aesthetic or theme for my blog, so I went on Pinterest and that helped me a lot! I love your header and can't wait to read more, I followed you on GFC :D xx

    elizabeth ♡ ”Ice Cream” whispers Clara | (lets follow each other on bloglovin or instagram)

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